The Entire Future Positivity of Me and a Positive Correctional Experience

The Entire Future Positivity of Me and a Positive Correctional Experience. March 30th 2019.

or  HOW TO REDRESS THE NUISANCE INBALANCE AT A LOCAL LEVEL

*What would qualify to prove you have re-habilitated yourself?
How to collate the information with proof?
Who to contact?
Could you do it anonymously?
Could you present it on your hacked laptop?
How to reveal your past without mentioning names and incriminating yourself.
STATEMENT OF INTENT AND AN APOLOGY
*Being a known pest is hard to live with, i believe there are four factors that i should address. Being a pest is not breaking the law but it has moral code issues which the "pest" should sort out.
1  Attitude and respect towards everyone, especially authority and in the workplace.
2 Not to force your opinions on people unless requested.
3 To contribute your time to the local community, volunteering, promoting a positive attitude.
4 To resolve debt issues.
One important question is, do you attempt to apologise to certain individuals that have been affected by your behaviour, my opinion says, let your actions be seen to create a new atmosphere to heal the past behaviour outcomes.
*Create a public facebook page, the new me.
*Create a blog specifically on the whole process including an apology.
* Do voluntary work and have it featured on video.
*Start a free project locally and online, to assist with behavioural addiction problems. Develop a strategy.
*Join Borrowmydoggy properly. And take pets into the local Care Home as a social tool to help residents.
Where, when and how did by progression to being a Pest start?
When my Mother died in August 2000. That allowed me to have independence but not lack of discipline. My addiction to porn and women started when it became available to me locally, in the early eighties on VHS but then i kept it discreet because i lived with my parents.
Why did i feel this desire for fantasy? The answer starts in the womb when my mother was attacked by a TUP a male sheep i believe. This caused serious trauma for me and was medically controlled only about 5 to 6 years later, even then i had to be escorted home from school with a Parent. In those early years i had convulsions, epileptic fits, and it also affected my attendance at nursery and school. My cognitive and social interactions were severely curtailed and this led to poor social and mental development which is vital to any growing child. This led to confidence problems at school and outside. Then into puberty, the interactions with the opposite sex were almost nil. Into teenage life, no relationships with the opposite sex happened at all, due to shyness and lack of personal skills. Meaning a vacuum of vital sexual and social skills possibly led to the desire for sex and masturbation to make up for the lack of it in real life.
In 1998 i bought a basic computer for £500, at the time it was not cheap but had basic functions. I started trawling the internet for photos of women, it was too easy. I have had always had curiosity and a vivid imagination.
In 2000 i became wrongly obsessed by local women, mostly married attractive, shapely, buxom, keeping it discreet, i wasn't aware that my attentions (non vocal and polite vocal) of course i should have realised that this covert attention was not welcomed. I admit i discreetly took photos and believe me i have suffered through the guilt of these actions.
I admit that, it is okay to have a quick glance at an attractive woman by being respectful at the same time but not as i did with a long stare, obsessive behaviour, obsessive compulsive behaviour.
When i bought a much more powerful computer in 2007, i then had the whole world of porn at my fingertips, photos, videos, stills on cd rom. This ascerbated my behaviour, at times i tried to control the behaviour but it failed. I noticed i got a few strange scared looks from certain ladies locally and i didn't have the confidence to apologise and nip it in the bud, i also wanted to continue as i couldn't stop my curiosity.
When facebook arrived, i saved hundreds of public photos available in the online public domain, and that was morally wrong. I am now beginning the process of destroying and deleting those photos from previous laptops and the almost dead PC i bought in 2007.
By 2007 i had started a fascination with the subject of 9/11 and desired to know more about why and how it happened. That led me to thousands of so called esoteric, truthseeking videos and forums on all matter of so-called "Conspiratorial Theory" subjects. I was led and believed that it was imperative to tell the world about it al, everything i had learnt in a short space of time. I felt wrongly, that it was a must that i tell everyone i could to "wake them up"  it was wrong to do this on a societal level and i didn't realise this.
I now realise that the delusional dogma of the behaviour was completely wrong and i am trying to distance myself from that revolutionary character that my curiosity created with help from the worldwide spiders web trap that i fell into. At that time i became a Double-Pest.
Maybe the reason that 9/11 was created was a worldwide correctional behavioural program to guide people who think outside of the box to think within it and be a part of the community once again, if so, it did a good job with me. The people that control the world do it for the good of the world and the people in it. Otherwise, if they were psychopathic in nature the world would have been destroyed years ago. This paragraph just came to me from today and it is a big realisation.
Is the reason i have been corrected (or have i corrected myself) does it justify the money spent, in the region of £5,000,000, well, i think it does. In a way i feel priveleged but i have also been scarred. I can heal myself. Nano technology is hard to fathom, was i microchipped with technology that very few people understand or was it my imagination?!! I will have to answer that question myself. I think i should put this statement out in the public domain in a blog or video or something similar. And i should never discuss it again that i lived within a Truman Show like environment for 15 or so years. I should move on and consider editing this for public consumption. Or just leave it to the decision makers and people who understand it. Forget it ever happened.
I have learned my lesson, it's a weight off my shoulders. I feel it is best to move away and let the people of Hexham enjoy their lives without the need for Pest Control. Before i move on, i should do some tidying up within my own home, make some apologies to people i know. Remove much of the reminders of the recent past, i will keep stuff which will be useful. I will try and pass on some good advice if wanted or just leave it be, like i should have done in the past. I feel that i will have to be willing to forgive people i feel have done bad to me and again, move on.